If the World Ends This Weekend, At Least I Took a Bath
Wait. Let me clarify. At least I got to take a bath in my actual house.
Ladies and gentlemen, this event has been almost a year in the making. It’s been exactly 50 weeks since I was able to submerge my entire body in water that’s just a few degrees shy of boiling and exhale.
Almost every day for those 50 weeks I’ve been passing by this billboard on my way home from work.
If you can’t read the fine print it says:
Judgment Day
May 21
Cry mightily unto God.
And then, just in case you were unconvinced by the billboard in the middle of a cornfield telling you Judgment Day is just days away, there’s actually a yellow golden seal affixed to the board that says, “The Bible Guarantees It!”
I said to MysteryMan, I’m not sure God and I are exactly BFF, but if Dude ends the world before I finish this house I am going to be sopissed. Seriously? UNFOLLOW.
However, our house now has a working bathroom so I am slightly mollified about the End of The World. I’ll be spending a good portion of the time I have left up to my chin in bubbles with a bottle of wine.
If this isn’t Heaven, I don’t know what is.
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